Anxiety

Anxiety jokes

Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."

Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.

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    • My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

    Me: "WYD?"

    Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."

    Me: "Without me? Lol"

    Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

    Friend: How's it going?

    Me: Good, things are good!

    Parent: How are you?

    Me: Oh, I'm fine!

    Twitter: Compose new tweet?

    Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

    Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.

    Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!

    My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.