Answer jokes
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
Dad, why are we here?
Because you're not loved.
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
What did the egg say to the tuna?
Why was the ant so smart? Because it always knew the answer.
What has a head, a tail, but no body?
Why are "Redneck" murder cases the HARDEST to solve?
Answer: Because ALL the DNA "Matches", and there are NO "Dental Records".
Who likes dick? Answer me!
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
What is my favorite color? Yellow.
What is 8 divided by 2?
Answer: 3 (you cut 8 in half).
What do Batman and a Black man have in common?
Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
What's 9 + 10? 21.
What's 9 - 10? 21?
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.