BOB: Wanna know a joke?
LILLY: What? Your hat?
BOB: No, my life :'(
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
One day I woke up and went on my phone. Some "pussy" was calling me. I answered it and said, "Hello, pussy?" and a pussy pic showed up.
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
Why did the chicken cross the road Answer: to get to his job at KFC
what do you call Stephen hawkings on fire? [answer] hot wheeles
John: What's 9+10?
Jake: 21
How do you keep am Idiot I'm suspense?
Answer; I'll tell you tomorrow!
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.
Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*
Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*
A question: When is (my name) happy?
Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*
Answer: Never, only a portion.
Friend: Do you need help?
Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?
Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!
Why did the idiot post so many 9/11 jokes?
Answer: Because his mom is a whore!
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a...
CRACK IN IT!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice? Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
Question; What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"? Answer; After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
