ANS jokes

Call me an elevator, because I let people down.

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?

My cousin: the other half.

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

What's the difference between an apple and a child?

The apple gets picked.

What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?

A toaster.

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.

What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS

What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?

They're both hanging from a tree.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?

Family Guy.

"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.

What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?

One of them is used.

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

What show does an orphan hate? Family Feud.

What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?

The class divides.

What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.

What movie does an orphan hate?

- No Way Home.