ANS jokes
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.