ANS jokes

If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?

What show does an orphan hate the most? Modern Family.

How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."

Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”

My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.

Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?

Because he can't run home.

Why can't an orphan be gay?

They have no one to call daddy.

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?

What store does an orphan hate?

Family Tree.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?

The tomato gets picked.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

The apples get picked.

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.