ANS jokes
If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?
Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
What's an Indian's favorite store?
Red Dot.
What do you call an orphan? Batman.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
Why can't an orphan go to a family reunion?
It has no family.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it comes back.
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?
A PDF file.