ANS jokes
What is an orphan's favorite show?
"Full House."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come back.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.