ANS jokes
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Memes
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.