ANS jokes
Kid at school tells an orphan, "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
What is the difference between an orphan and a homeless person? Nothing, haha.
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
What's an orphan's least favorite theme song? The Barney theme song.
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.