ANS jokes
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
If Asians are bad at driving, then was Pearl Harbor an accident?
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a PC?
When my PC crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.
Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?
Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.
Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?
Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.
LOL xD
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
What's the difference between you and an orphan?
Nothing.