ANS jokes
Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t run to home.
You stink!
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
HOWWW
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Yo mama so poor she walked into an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I made it, DON'T COPY!!!
Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
What do you call an orphan at a construction site?
Child labor.
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?
One is actually used.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.