ANS jokes
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
What's an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
I once told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man because he is far from home.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.