ANS jokes

App

1 view ·

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Noose

2 views ·

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

Exam

92 views ·

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

Orphan

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.

Pornstar

20 views ·

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."