ANS jokes
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
What's an Indian's favorite drug?
Beans.
What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
What's an Emo's favorite game? Hangman.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?
A full house.
I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me!
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.