ANS jokes
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family portrait.