ANS jokes
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family portrait.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?
Son: A ugly girl.
Dad: Why not a pretty girl?
Son: A pretty one might run away.
Dad: So an ugly one might too.
Son: Yeah, but who cares?
Why should you not let an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is. 😢
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he/she doesn't know where to run home.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
I'm doin' your mom. Yes, yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers. Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen but her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans. I approached her in the checkout line, and said, "Yo baby wassup?" She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs. Five minutes later she agreed to get with me so we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart. I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start. She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again. How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it. She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it. Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.