ANS jokes

Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.

Me: Cool, what rank of officer?

Jim: SS.

Me:...

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."

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  • Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!

    What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

    One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.

    Hello people, my name is Osama.

    I'm back from the dead and I want to blow you.

    Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.

    Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

    Friend: Sure.

    Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?

    Friend: Why?

    Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.