ANS jokes

Orphanage

    • I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

    Reality

    • If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.

    If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.

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    • Orphan

    • What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

    Orphan

    • What's the one upside to being an orphan?

    You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

    Comedian

    • Trying to make jokes in 2020-2021 be like:

    Comedian: "When she went in front of the TV, it took an hour till you could see the screen again."

    Audience: "Why you gotta be so offensive?"

    Comedian: "I'm not tr-"

    Audience: "Oh, so now you're trying to debate?"

    Comedian: "I-"

    Audience: "Now you're acting racist?!"

    Rape

    • Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.

    Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.

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    • Orphan

    • One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”