ANS jokes
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
Q: What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A: A family picture.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Why can't an orphan play baseball in China?
They can't find home plate.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have mothers' and Father’s Day.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??
Flowers get picked.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.