ANS jokes
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?
A European.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
I'm playing a game of HANGMAN. Is there an 'S' or a 'C'?
MIKE PEN__E??
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
I'm gay and an orphan.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.
Who is your mum?
An emo.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?