ANS jokes
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?
It danced its a** off.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
What's it called when an orphan calls 911?
Operator: Hello, is your family okay?
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Operator: *bruh*
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
What's it called if an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.