ANS jokes
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
Why is an orphan and a dog friends?
Yo mama so fat, when she went into an elevator, she had to go down.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Only one of them gets picked...
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
What do you call when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
They say people are 75% water.
But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?
Because they won't have a parent to cry to.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.