ANS jokes
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu? Pikachu, I choose you!
What is an emo's favorite game?
To delete Cut the Rope.
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
What is an orphan's favorite song?
"Alone" by Alan Walker.
What kind of pizza can't an orphan order?
Familiar pizza.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
If you’re bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel actually has family.