ANS jokes

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

I remarked, "You lazy!"

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?

A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?

I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣