ANS jokes
What is an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.
I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.