ANS jokes
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
What is an emo's favorite movie?
The Suicide Squad.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
I put a pipe bomb in an orphanage. 🤡🤡
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."
"I'm an orphan."
"I didn't ask."
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
An emo tried to give me a high five...
I left him hanging.
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
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What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.
It's a sad state of affairs.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.