ANS jokes
What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He can't run home.
What do you call a Muslim and an Arab in a plane?
Pilots, you racist fuckers!
What's the most motivational thing to say to an orphan? Go big or go home!
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
What's an orphan family photo called?
Selfie.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
How does an emo kid compliment one another?
Like your cuts, G.
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.