ANS jokes

Uncle

12 views ·

Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.

Emo kid

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

Orphan

1 view ·

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Orphan

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

Brick

81 views ·

Best way to trick your friends:

A brick falls out of a plane.

How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.

The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.

Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.

Adoption agency

132 views ·

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

Emo

21 views ·

I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"

Orphan

1 view ·

Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?

Friend: But you're an orphan.

Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!