ANS jokes

Superman

  • What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

    Artist

  • Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

    Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

    But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

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  • Orphan

  • What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

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  • Wife

  • Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

    Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

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  • Night

  • Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

    Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

    And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

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  • Orphan

  • So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.

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  • Orphan

  • What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.

    Prick

  • Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

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  • Career

  • So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

    Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

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