ANS jokes
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
What do you call a photo of an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do you call a family photo with an orphan?
A selfie.
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
What’s an orphan’s favourite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?
Homecoming.
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.