ANS jokes
What do you call a picture of an orphan? A selfie.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
Curry in a hurry.
What part of a computer system does an orphan not have?
A motherboard.
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?