Animal jokes
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Why is sex with pandas so much fun?
I don't know, it just is. 🐼
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
Really funny jokes at https://www.ranker.com/list/duck-jokes/jack-napier