And jokes

A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?

To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

Yum!

What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?

Your dick shots longer.

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?

A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.

There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.

When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.

Levi and Andrew are fat.

Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.

What has a head and tail but no legs?

A penny.

Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half a cat.

So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

UwU

What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?

Bigfoot is real.

Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”

The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”