And jokes

What's the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.

What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.

What is the difference between a car and a tree?

A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.

What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?

Stephen Hawking.

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)

My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"

Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?

To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.

Iran: So?

Japan: Twice!

What's the difference between MJ and myself?

Nothing at all.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)

Au revoir, GGG

I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.

Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.

P = Person (not original "pun")

P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!

(Communications with this person are now blocked)