And jokes
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
A man takes a boy into the woods.
Boy says:
"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."
The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!
What is the difference between a snowman and a snow girl?
Snowballs.
Memes
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
What's the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
What is the difference between a cow and me?
Nothing.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
What is a difference between a tree and a car? A car 🚙 can drive and [a] tree 🌲 can not drive.
What is the difference between a tree 🌲 and a car 🚘?
A car can drive, and a tree 🌳 cannot drive.
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.