And jokes

What's black and white, black and white, black and white...?

A dead nun rolling down a hill.

What’s the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked!

What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?

The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.

Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

Orphan: What! No! Please no!

Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!

What's the difference between my basement and my garage?

One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.

The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.

The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."

ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!

What’s twelve inches and white?

Nothing.

So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.

Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/

Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."

"and i oop"

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.

Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.

Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.

But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...

What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?

I only stuff the turkey.

Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.

Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”

Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”

Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.