And jokes

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

Why is Mercury filled with Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?

Mercury is Be-Au-Ti-Full!

How many victims does Shaw have?

We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.

How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

Gwen and Prince chat and talk and discuss; we won't bother you! Here! Enjoy!

I'll give you an A because you're awesome.

B because you're beautiful.

A C because you're caring.

And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

What's the same about boxes and children?

They're both found in basements.

Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?

The fish can't go fast.

Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.

Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

The patient said, "When will this be over?"

The doctor said, "After you die."

The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"

The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."

The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"