And jokes

Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.

What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?

A fumble bee.

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

My hopes and dreams.

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?

They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don’t care if she has one.

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?

We have a case of Witzelsucht.

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?

A 24 killstreak!

Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.

Eggy joke for all to enjoy!

What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?

This guy, yep, this guy right here.

How did my dad know I was gay?

He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.

What has 4 legs and two gloves?

All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️

You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!