And jokes
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
Memes
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
A riddle: My enemy is the Joker, I'm black and I help to save Gotham City. Who am I?
What is the difference between Batman and Black Panther?
Batman returns.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
Wanna play dolls?
I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
Well, my dad couldn't beat cancer.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.