And jokes

What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

One eats tape while the other eats pussy.

What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?

Both get hard when we play with them.

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?

They always getting hit.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

What is the Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.

I can't believe this!

Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.

Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.

Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!

What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?

"Dine and dash."

What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"

Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.

Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?