And jokes

What goes in small and soft?

And comes out big and hard?

A tea bag.

POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"

What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

Yo mama so fat and emo, we call her the rock and roll.

What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?

It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.

How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?

It never gets old.

Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?

Teens: NO WAY!

Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!

Teens: O OK. 😤

A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.

The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.

What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?

Hot Wheels...

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?

People actually want stuff in a supermarket.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

A paraplegic after a house fire.

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.

"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.