And jokes

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.

I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3

What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?

There is no difference.

Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.

Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Because you can't see in the dark.

If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.

What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.

Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.

So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?

Hanson.

A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?

The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.

I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.

It gave me a discount!

A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.

What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?

The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.

Knock knock, who's there? God.

God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

You can hang the picture with one nail.

What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?

You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"