And jokes

My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!

What do girls and rocks have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.

If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.

What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?

Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.

What does a condom and a coffin have in common?

They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.

Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.

I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.

You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples actually get picked.

What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?

Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.

Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.

If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?

What do gay guys and priests have in common?

They are both gay in their own ways.

I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

Why don't orphans play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?

One is wanted.