And jokes

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

Little boys turn them on.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?

Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘

I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

Me: Hey friend!

Friend: Yes?

Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.

Friend: Touch.

Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)

Friend: Grass.

Me: And you get?

Friend: Touch grass.

Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.

And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.

What's the difference between puppies and orphans?

Puppies actually get picked.

What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.