And jokes

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have a Mother’s and Father’s Day.

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?

I beat both of them.

What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?

Apples get picked.

What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?

Geico saves you more.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked, and the other doesn't.

Why would Tommy kill Philza's wife just to make Phil believe she didn't exist?

LIKE AND SUB IF YOU LI/j

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.

I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.

But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.

What do you call a person with no nose and no body?

Nobody knows.

If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?

Shredded tweet!

He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.

A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

The feather, because the rope stopped the child.

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?

What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

A flower gets picked.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?

It only took one nail to hang the picture frame.