And jokes

Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?

It only took one nail to hang the picture frame.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

A flower gets picked.

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.

What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.

Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

The feather, because the rope stopped the child.

I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.

But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?

If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"