And jokes

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?

Baby in a blender.

What is the cherry's favorite cartoon?

"Tom and Jerry!"

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

🎨🧑🏻‍🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.

Knock knock.

Who's there? Discord server.

Discord server who?

This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.

Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?

A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.

What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?

I personally think cereal is not nutritious.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.

It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.

Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.

No joke!

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A: A bus full of children.

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?