And jokes

How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?

A: They're both cheesy.

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?

The final countdown.

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...

I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!

Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

What's long, hard, and slimy?

A bar of soap.

Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.

And your IQ is 5.

And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.

To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.