And jokes

Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"

What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?

A Tyrannosaurus Tex.

What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.

Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!

Person: WTF!

Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"

How do homeless people move where they're living?

They pick up their box and walk away.

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.

One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,

"We will give you a replacement!"

I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

I did have a good night, and I did a good night, and I had to walk around the house.

I did have a good night and I did a good night and I had fun.

Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...

Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"

Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."

What is the best way to end a cookbook?

And that’s a wrap!

Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!

Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!

Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*

Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!

What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?

A child with epilepsy.

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.