And jokes
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you wonβt believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
What has two wings and an arrow?
The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
Memes
Whatβs the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump π¬.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
Whatβs the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.