And jokes

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple tray?

The apples get picked.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

A man will actually look for the golf ball.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.

And they're off!

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?

One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.

What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?

The frog might be on his way to a gig!

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.

Yeah, that was the punchline.

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.

Why did the chief go to jail?

Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!

Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?

Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.