And jokes

What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?

One falls, while the other hangs.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.

Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!

Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.

What bounces up and down at 100mph?

A baby tied to the back of a truck.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?

You cry when you cut an onion.

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

Yo mama so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they gave her the ocean.

Why are orphans lucky?

Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.

What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?

One is Super. The other is just soup.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

What's the difference between babies and onions?

You don't cry cutting up babies.

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

What do Jesus and I have in common?

No one knows my real bday either.

What is the difference between 9/11 and rickrolling?

The Twin Towers gave up and let down.

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.