And jokes

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?

There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.

What is white and 9 inches?

Nothing.

If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.

Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?

They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.