And jokes
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Memes
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?
There’s no way home.
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
Yo mama is so fat, she jumped into the air and got stuck!
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.