And jokes

Twin Towers

Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?

Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?

One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.

Girl

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

Orphan

I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.

Priest

What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.

Daycare

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.

Memes

Kid

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

Orphan

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

Asthma

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

Knot

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Bathroom

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Lamp

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.

Car crash

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.

Love

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

Homework

My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

Apple

If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.