And jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?

One's a busy ditch.

Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.

Why do special ed classes have fans?

To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.

What is black, white, and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!

Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!

Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?

Because they can’t find their parents.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.

Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?

What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?

Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."

She said, "Who's there?"

I said, "I Eat eat my mop."

She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."