And jokes
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
Memes
Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.
Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot.
Everyone else in the office: 😱
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"