And jokes

Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

What is red, white, and blue all over?

A dead cop.

Friend, you're bold and fat.

Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.

A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.

After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.

And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"

God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"

An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?

Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!

Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.

It's about bottling.

It's about crying.

I stay finished, I fake retire.

Put in the diving.

Put in the ghosting

And take my fake trophies.

Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.

My Barcelona banged by Bayern.

I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦁🦁🦁🐩🐖🐒🐷🐵🐎+/;!¥/%? Fuckfuckfuuk of your own is also a joke about your relationship with Google and Twitter users who don't know what they think of their own personal life, and the way they have been involved since the last few years of debate is the only thing.

I give bubblegum to the homeless so they can chew it and still be hungry.

I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.

A Roman guy walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Can I have 5 beers please?"

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.

What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?

Vin Diesel actually has family.

Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.

What's wrong with my friend?

He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

What does a wife and a boombox have in common?

They only work when you beat them.