And jokes

What do emos and a bird nest have in common?

They both hang from a tree.

Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.

You and Jason in your bed.

Bleach solves so many problems:

Stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation of orphans.

Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?

A: It means cats and dogs can talk.

We need to stop with all the discrimination here! I don’t discriminate! I love all races, even the bad ones, I’m a fan of all genders, even the fake ones, and am a fan of all nationalities, even the alien kinds.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the stonks are high, and so are you.

When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."

I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I care when my computer crashes.

What does a polite mouse say?

"Cheese and thank you."

What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?

When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.

Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.

Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?

Bunny hair.

I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.

Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

Vote for the better joke.

Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!

When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.

Guys, can we stop this stupid drama? I just wanna post my "Doin' Your Mom" lyrics and funny jokes! Please stop it!

Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?